Why the powerfully insane shouldn't obtain insanely powerful objects
by AriSophAlmah
Summary: Creepy vampire Harry Potter and Dreamy fay Luna Lovegood, the Insane Two, get their hands on a gemstone with the property of changing the past. With nothing better to do, they send themselves back in time. Rated T, but might become M later on.


**Prologue**

Harry looked at the green diamond and burst out laughing. Had anyone other than Luna Lovegood been present, they would have thought that the young english boy wearing chinese clothes in the middle of Egypt radomly disolving into gales of laughter at the sight of a precious stone was mad. As it was, the only other person currently there _was_ Luna, so Harry didn't have to fear being hauled to the authorities by an overly concerned adult (again). Not, as one might think, concerned for _Harry_, even though he only looked 13 years old, but concerned _by _Harry, for, even those closest to him had to admit, Harry Potter was Creepy. With a capital C. Not even _italics_ could do Harry's Creepiness justice. Because Harry was a vampire. And not just any vampire : he was a 27 year old vampire forever trapped in his 13 year old body (with improvements, for, as everybody knows, becoming a vampire immediately makes you THE most beautiful thing around, super fast, strong, etc, and with a tendency to glow in the sunlight- or so the vampire who had turned and subsequently raised Harry drily commented after reading the Twilight series, which he only read, and reread, because he had nothing better to do, not because he was secretly a sucker for vampire romance novels, _of course_), and was, according to almost anyone who had met him after he discovered Luna Lovegood (or after _she_ discovered _him_), completely and certifiably _**INSANE**_. Yes, he was so _**INSANE**_ that it actually does have to be written like that, but we're not going to continue writing it like that because it's too bothersome.

However, the young vampire was not laughing because he was insane (okay, that's a lie : he _was _ laughing because he was insane), but (also) because he and his companion, accomplice, and off-again/on-again lover, Luna, who also looked just about 13, but not because she was a vampire, as she _wasn't _(she was some sort of fay, but refused to tell Harry what kind), had been looking for this very magical artifact for quite some time, and H (as Luna sometimes called him) had honestly expected it to be shaped more like an hourglass. Or even have runes represening time on it. Or really, any runes at all. At the very least, he expected to find something that looked like it had been created by Mankind. The green diamond looked like any other green diamond might have... had there been such a thing as a green diamond. As there wasn't, it could be forgiven it's apparent ordinariness (as much as a gemstone _can_ be considered ordinary). Also, because the two travelers could feel its power, and they felt the purpose that power had been shaped to, they recognized it as the Time Changer (unlike the Time Turner, it would allow those who used it to actually _change _the past).

They had not been looking for it to give it to the Unspeakables so they could study, or even to study it themselves. Nor were they looking for it because they had lost the war to Voldemort : after all, they had won. They didn't think that the price had been too high for defeating Voldemort. As a matter of fact, they had quite gotten over the war. They didn't go looking for the TC to stop the war against the muggles from happening. In fact, most people wondered weather the two _knew_ that there was a war. Their friends didn't wonder : they knew that Harry and Luna had _no idea_ there was one (if they did, they hid it very well). No, Harry and Luna wanted to go back in time to **have fun**. Yes, they were insane, and yes, slightly immature as well. But so were the Weasley twins, and no one bothered _them_ about it! That said, the twins actually _had_ realized that there was a war going on, and were actively participating (in an insane, immature way).

"So..." Harry said after having calmed down, "What now?"

"Well," Luna answered dreamily, "We go back in time I suppose."

They both looked down at the diamond as if expecting it to suddenly activate and parachute them into the past. After a few moments, Harry shook the magical artifact as if it would change a thing. They waited for a bit, and nothing happened. Harry then looked at Luna :

"How are we supposed to do that again?"

"Oh, we have to bring the gem into the runic circle we've been carving for a fortnight."

"Really?" Harry stared at her in surprise. Luna cocked her head :

"Of course, what did you think it was for?"

"I dunno... increase the reception for our TV?"

Luna smiled sweetly at him, showing pearly white teeth that were a bit sharper than human teeth, and batted her eyelids at him,

"No you idiot, of course not. Is _that _how you broke the TV?"

Haryy assumed a similar pose,

"Hardly, I broke it by following _your_ suggestions!"

"My suggestions? What suggestions? The only suggestions I made concerning the TV were sar_cas_tic!"

"Well I hadn't realized it at the time : it's not like you have a different tone of voice when you're being sarcastic than when you're being, you know, as normal as is actually _possible_ for you." Harry finished with a mutter, and then he blinked, "So basically, all we have to do is take this," he hefted up the gem, "and bring it inside the circle," he jestured vaguely towards nowhere in particular, "and boom, we're in the past?"

Luna hesitated before sighing : "Not exactly, but sure, if you want."

What most people didn't know, was that Looney Luna Lovegood _could_, in fact, act like a normal sane person, to a certain extent of course : Luna would never understand some things people called "normal" and "sane", it just didn't have any appeal to her. _Harry_, on the other hand... well, who knew weather it was his insanity that was an act, or his sanity. Probably his sanity.

A couple of minutes later, they were back at their home, Riddle Manor. Yes, Riddle Manor : no one wanted it, and no one would think to look for them there. Not to mention all the interesting documents and artefacts Voldemort had left behind, or the wards. Real impressive those were; Bill Weasley, a cursebreaker, had actually _paid_ to be able to study them. Once there, the two criminals (they had just stolen a precious artefact without the ministry's consent, and were intending to do something extremely illegal for the fun of it, not that this was the first time they had done either) went to Harry's room. Though, as Harry didn't really care what room he ended up in to sleep, most rooms were his. What distinguished this room from any of the others was the runic circle in one corner. They stared at it for a moment, then :

"Luna... this isn't the right circle."

They then proceeded to inspect each and every room with a runic circle in it, trying to find the correct one. Ten minutes later they had found it, and were positioned within it, the gem slightly off-center.

"Harry, do you remember the magic chant I taught you the other day?"

Harry looked up at her solemnly :

"The nursery rime?" he frowned a bit, "...that doesn't rime, and probably isn't for children?" he smiled slightly as he met her eyes. She smiled slightly back at him.

"Yes, that one. Start chanting it whenever you like."

And so he chanted while she she lit some herbs on fire, and for some reason summoned a water demon, and did some other magical stuff. At the end of the chant, the diamond pulsed once, and then settled. Luna and Harry waited a second for something to happen, and when nothing did, they turned to each other :

"So H, when do we get thrown back in time?"

"Must you call me that? I don't go around calling you L." H complained quietly, before straitening up and replying in a firmer voice, "We go to sleep, and when we wake up, we'll be in the past, to wreak havoc on the masses, to spread chaos in enemy (and friendly) ranks, to-" his voice had progressively become louder and more rousing, then he suddenly reverted to his normal voice, "Oh and, Luna, I'm pretty sure half of those magical things you did during the ceremony were completely superfluous."

Luna blinked at him admiringly :

"Oh Harry! I haden't realized you knew such big words." she proclamed delightedly, immediately scamping off, Harry in hot pursuit. What came after was a duel that would have rendered even Dumbledore and Voldemort speachless, but was only genuine fun for the two children (despite their age, it just seems wrong to call them adults).

"Yes, half of what I did was utterly unnecessary," Luna admited after their impromptu duel, breathless from exertion and laughter, as was Harry, who was spread out on the stairs, his position mirrored by his friend, "but it was great fun!" They grinned at each other in complete understanding, Harry's Creepiness and Luna's Dreaminess almost completely absent at that point. However, they soon reasserted themselves as the accomplices got up and went to their respective bedrooms, sharing one last smile, but not saying anything, before their great journey.

Packing anything would be useless, as Harry and Luna would wake up in the bodies of their younger selves, and would be unable to bring anything back with them, so of course Harry and Luna had packed _everything_. And so, it was to the sight of their packed bags that the two fell asleep to that night, Harry _under_ his bed, and Luna _in _**her** bed... which was a cocoon. The next day, they would wake to very different sights.


End file.
